It is not easy being a woman at the best of times. Every day we need to get up, get over the fact we don't look like the woman on the front of the magazine on our bedside table, we need to paint our face, chose an outfit that is neither slutty nor frumpy, we need to present ourselves well, we must be careful not to lose our cool, to maintain grace and poise at the best of times, not to react when our colleagues pass sexist judgement, not mind that we're being paid less than said colleague, we need to eat the right stuff but without being seen to care, we need to be pretty good at Instagraming it, we need to try and drink as much as our male friends without being an embarrassment and to top it all we need to remember to take our makeup off E V E R Y N I G H T.
But we do it, cause we're awesome. And we just about to survive. But then once every couple of months, some spunk trumpet comes up with a new way to add pressure to our already stupidly stressful lives. First it was the collar bone challenge, then it was the 'is your waist smaller than an A4 piece of paper' challenge and now, now we have been told that we are only true women if, and only if, we can hold shit under our boobs.
I mean, SRSLY?
This trend is taking Chinese social media sites by storm and is basically, as far as I can see, a good excuse for women with great tits to show how great their tits are. Which, if you haven't got 'great' tits, is a pain in the arse. With previous challenges, I suppose, in theory, they were obtainable goals. The thigh gap, the collar bone, the LOOK HOW SMALL MY WAIST IS, although ridiculous, are all, theoretically, achievable. You just don't eat for a while and work out loads. (DON'T DO THIS, THIS IS NOT ADVICE, THERE IS NO POINT. I BET YOU ALL MY MONEY IT WON'T MAKE YOU AS HAPPY AS YOU THINK IT WILL). But the boob thing? Urgh.
It's just more bloody pressure isn't it? It serves literally NO purpose, other than to shame us. You can't grow your boobs by exposing them to sunlight and remembering to water them, nor can you make them perkier by working on them in the gym. Perhaps, if you're careful with your underwear you might be able to prevent some sagging, but really, there is very little you can do about your bust size, short of surgery of course.
And what is this true woman stuff? Since when did a big rack make you a true woman? It didn't. That's when. In fact, what about those incredibly brave and determined women who have fought breast cancer? And in doing so, lost their boobs. Did they also lose the right to be true women then? No. Of course they didn't.
So what the bloody hell is going on here?
If you want to show off your body, that's great. Go forth and do it. But for the love of all that is good in the world, can we please, please, pleeeeeeeeease stop trying to shame the living shit out of other women in the process? Thanks.