Despite the fact that we are coming into the happiest time of the year, today is a sad day for me as it marks the end of this year's I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, my all time favourite TV show and the one reality TV indulgence I allow myself.
I love Ant & Dec, I love the idea of the show but more than that I love that over three weeks you get to see a side of people that you never thought you'd see. In part because they are 'celebrities' who you obviously don't really 'know' anyway, but mostly because you get to see strangers, forced together and truly tested.
As a result, you are exposed to all aspects of human nature, stress, love, friendship, loyalty, anger, exhaustion, you name it, ITV've got it and I LOVE it. Apart from Lady C, who let's face it, came across as a truly terribly human being, there wasn't a single person in that jungle that I didn't like. Even when I tried to not like them, I couldn't, there was good in all of them, most the time.
Now, confession time. At school, I was a proper Hollyoaks fan, it was really the only thing that was on the TV when I had free time and it became a ritual for me, unfortunately my boyfriend now does not let it in the house, so I haven't watched it for a while, but when I saw that Jorgie Porter was going into the jungle, I was really excited.
Maybe it's my girl-love instincts or my protective nature (she's a young girl and I'm a young girl and we all need people in our corner), but I was really getting ready to defend her, I didn't know anything about her other than that she was an actress on Hollyoaks but I desperately wanted to like her. And I totally did.
From the minute she went in, to her eviction on Saturday night that saw her coming 5th, I thought that she was great. She was funny and sweet and natural and seemed really kind and honest.
Now obvi she's a really beautiful girl, (you don't make it on to FHM's Sexiest Women's list for nothing) and is making a career out of modelling and has therefore always been perceived in a particular way, but I felt that by going into the jungle she was showing us that she was sort of more than all of that, she is a natural beauty with a normal/(smoking hot) body.
Now unfortunately for me, the Christmas period gets super busy and the aforementioned boyfriend doesn't like to spend days on end watching reality TV with me (grrr) so I missed a lot of episodes. I was planning to do a mega-i'm-a-celeb-athron to catch up all in one go and so as a result I avoided the Mail Online and Twitter so that I wouldn't know who had gone.
As is life however, I didn't get the chance to binge, so instead had to just settle for a quick debrief with my mum before sitting down to watch the last couple of episodes, (yay Vicky!) and it has meant that today I have had the chance to read all the stories being printed about these celebrities that I had missed.
Why are you not surprised when I say I wish I hadn't? The piece that stood out to me was one about Jorgie reporting on her Snog, Marry, Avoid answers that she had given (yes stop the press, big news day, she'd shag Duncan btw) and of courseeee, in true 2015 media style, the article was accompanied by numerous pictures of her in a bikini.
At this point I just want to ask: WHY DIDN'T WE GET TO SEE KEIRON IN THE SHOWER? OR GEORGE? OR EVEN BLOODY TONY? WHY ONLY THE F*!@KING WOMEN ALL THE TIME?
That's so a battle for another day but the point is: it is apparently an inconceivable notion that in this day and age, a photo can be printed of a woman in a bikini and she will receive anything but hate messages.
'She's too fat, she's too thin, urgh, she's so annoying, ew fake boobs blahblahblah'
(FYI this translates into: I'm a jealous bitch or an ugly bloke and, since I won't ever grow the balls to come and talk to you, I'm going to pretend that I've got Megan Fox in bed with me and make you hate your life.)
Jorgie came across as a really nice person, which means that, since we've seen her at her at her worst for the last three weeks, she probably is a really nice person. No, she has not got a makeup bag in there, and yes she normally wears a lot of slap, but doesn't it speak to her character that she was brave enough to expose herself like this?
The sad thing is, I bet she's really regretting going makeup free now, because every single comment I have found has been about how ugly she is without any makeup on and how terrible she looks without airbrushing. And this is just ridiculous.
Because these comments are really mean, and they're not few and far between either they're all like this! And they're coming from women who are not airbrushed themselves, and who can probably only dream of looking as gorgeous as Jorgie, yet still, we feel that we have the right to say these things? These comments are also coming from men whom, I suspect, have spent the last four years oggling the PornHub homepage because their ridiculous sexist ways are yet to get them laid, and they have forgotten what a real woman looks like.
In the modelling shoots that Jorgie has done she looks properly super duper hot and yet in the jungle she is comfortable enough to squeeze her spots for all the world to see. She is actually BRAVE enough, considering her line of work, to go makeup free and how do we reward her? We abuse her, that seems fair right?
Is this not something that we should be celebrating? A beautiful woman, women actually because Fearne and Vicky did it too, going natural and shattering all the illusions of photoshop? This is a good thing no?!
Even if I had a million makeup artists work on me for a million hours I could only dream of competing with Jorgie, as I'm sure is the case for a lot of us. But more than that, there is no makeup in the world that could create a person as good natured as her, as is becoming painfully apparent as I read the messages that people are leaving.
Are we so blinded by our own insecurities that we can't recognise a good thing anymore?
True beauty shines from the inside out and I believe that is half of what makes Jorgie so attractive, but I also believe that this is what is causing the rest of us to be so damned ugly.
If you don't like the show, don't watch it, and if you haven't got anything nice to say, may I please remind you once again, to not say anything at all.