Confidence is such a funny thing. As far as I am concerned there is nothing more attractive in a person than confidence, there is nothing that makes a person feel happier than when they have it in abundance, and yet it is something that so many of us totally lack.
Some days I wake up exploding with it, other days I want nothing more than to put a brown paper bag over my head, wrap myself in a duvet, cover all the mirrors in the house and accept that I am destined for a life of misery. I had one of these days a couple of weeks ago and wrote a piece called Why Does No One Like Me? , that's how that one came about. Some days it is noting more than a lottery, a thing totally out of my control that I can do nothing about, I'm just not on it. But then on other days there is the potential to turn it around and with a few tiny tweaks, I'm able to make some great positive changes.
So for anyone out there struggling in anyway to keep the confidence-o-meter topped up, I've pulled together a list of things that I do to ensure that I'm living my best life (nearly) every damn day.
(I know already that these won't all be right for everyone, please remember these are just the things that I do for me, take what you want and leave what you want.)
You'd be amazed how quickly you'll find something to smile about, even when the world feels dark and gloomy. Even when I find myself self conscious about the colour or shape of my teeth (or whatever it is I'm fretting about that day), it's really hard to feel doom and gloom when you're smiling. If I do it when I'm on the tube or walking down the street I feel as if I've got a secret with myself and that's a huge boost.
Paint a face on.
I love that so many women feel beautiful without a scrap of makeup on, I applaud them, I envy them and sometimes I am one of them. A lot of the time though, I rely on my makeup bag. Alex calls my makeup my warpaint and I love that. When I sit down in the morning and prepare to put it on I look in the mirror and think that I'm preparing for battle. The battle of the day. Makeup really helps.
Channel your inner Rapanzul.
I really struggle to feel like a superstar confident woman when I've got greasy hair. In fact, a bad hair day has been known to absolutely crush my confidence on more than one occasion. If I need a boost, have a busy day or just fancy myself I have to wash and dry my hair. Not least of all because there is nothing better than swishing your way down the street; whatever else happens in your day, at least your hair looks fabulous.
One of my biggest fears in this life is smelling bad. Dunno why, I just can't even deal with the notion. Whatever it is I am doing that day, whether it's a big meeting, a night out with friends or even just a walk in the park with Bua I drench myself in scent. It's no secret that I have a total Jo Malone obsession and have long since equated success and happiness with owning a lot of her products (even if that does sound totally ridiculous), and covering myself in my scent obsession of the moment - Jo Malone Basil & Neroli does wonders for my confidence.
Treat your commute like a music video.
If you tell me you don't know what I am talking about then you are a bloody liar. We've all done this and we should never underestimate the power that this tragic action holds. Depending on my moods I find this a really useful tecnique, whether it's Beyonce on the way to a party, Imagine Dragons before a run or Rihanna's Work before a meeting, music has been the answer to problems I didn't even know I had.
A clean shave.
I find it really hard to love myself unconditionally when I've got hairy pits. I wish that was not the case but it's 2017 and society's a bitch, hair's not sexy... apparently. Anyway. I got into bed the other night, thought I was rocking all kinds of adorable until I noticed my underarms and the fact I'd neglected to epilate in way too long. I dealt with the problem immediately, booked a bikini wax and attacked my legs while I was it and it honestly did wonders. When you know you're looking your best it's hard not to feel your best.
Can't really explain this one other than to say, when I'm hydrated I just feel like I've got my shit together.
Take some time.
Whether that's another five minutes doing your makeup, walking through the park on your lunch break or even just listening to a podcast at the breakfast table with a cup of coffee, taking a bit of time to reflect on everything is really important. Thinking about the things that are important to you and celebrating the success of your day/week/life thus far is incredibly fulfilling but only really achieved when you take the time to do it properly.
Add some height.
Long legs: killer confidence. Or so I think anyway. Unfortunately I was not blessed with lengthy pins and so it falls on me to rectify God's oversight on my own. Even if it's just a couple of inches that a pair of chunky ankle boots give you, a bit of height goes a long way (pardon the pun). It also makes me feel smarter and more ready for the day. Again, fuck society and it's obsession with women having to dress up to feel smart, but here we are, it works for me. Whoever said 'no one looks at a man's shoes' was probably a liar anyway.
Nothing makes me feel more confident than feeling in demand. Even if it's just popping into the pet shop to stock up on dog food, rushing to the post office and then dragging your feet to the gym. If I plan nothing and spend the day doing nothing more than twiddling my thumbs, it's very easy to find yourself feeling utterly useless. Ensuring that I've got a lot on makes a huge difference to my confidence and I am able to get into bed at the end of a long day feeling satisfied and fulfilled and pretty much like the biggest bestest VIP in all the land.