OK. I haven't gone mad, although I do appreciate that the title makes it sound like I might have done a bit. You need to start moisturising in the gym, I've dedicated a whole blog post to it. What is going on?????
I didn't make 'New Year's Resolutions' this year, because I always, ALWAYS, fuck it up, and so I decided that 2017 is the year that I am just going to be a bit better. I am going to take better care of myself, work a bit harder, train like a boss, sleep a bit more, you know the drill. I'm due some little home improvements and now is as good a time as any to act on them. One of the pledges that I made was that I was going to work out more because, you know, I kind of want to. Another pledge that I made was that I was going to moisturise more because my skin is always really dry and I'm bored of it. I also don't want to get super wrinkly when I'm older so thought it best to put the time in now.
Yesterday morning I went to the gym (whoptidooooo) and, because I wanted to feel like a bit of a #girlboss I did what I thought seemed right and took a bag with me so that I could shower and change there. This was my first time ever doing this and I have to say, it was really rather wonderful. I did feel like the champ that I'd always wanted to be.
ANYWAY, as part of the New-Year-New-Me-Thingymajig, in my gym bag was my moisturiser, and after my shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel on my head, like all the other women in there, put my underwear on and wiped out my cream. Thus began the moisturising.
EM WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS? IT'S SO BORING.
Yes. I hear ya, but I have a point. Trust me.
Moisturising is quite an intimate thing I think, to really do it properly there is quite a lot of rubbing to be done and a fair amount of bending every which way to ensure that every nook and cranny gets covered. It is something that I normally save (when I can be bothered) for my bedroom. It would NOT be something that I would normally be comfortable doing in front of a whole load of strangers in a gym changing room. But I had promises to keep and a time restriction, so I persevered.
And oh my lord guys. I've never felt so liberated. What a thing to do?!
I have very little time for gym changing rooms on the whole, when I was a child I associated them with old women who were always naked (my mum would take us in there for swimming after school sometimes) and more recently I have associated them with the whole Dani Mathers' 'If I can't un-see this then nor can you' body shaming scandal that came about last year. The connotations have never really been good. I, like lots of other women, am quite self conscious when it comes to being naked. Alas, wriggling around like a worm with no clothes on in view of how ever many strange women? Well it seemed like hell on earth.
But for some reason yesterday, as I was writhing around, I weirdly realised that I didn't remember the last time that I felt that body confident. I'm pale and hairy and a bit wobbly and far from proud of my current physique but I didn't even care. I looked up at one point to see a vagina about 2 inches from my head and as I started putting my jeans on I saw the same pair of nipples six times because a woman was standing in front of some mirrors. And I didn't give a shit. And I think it took my not giving a shit for me to realise that when these women looked at me, they didn't give a shit either.
We are all SO obsessed with this idea that everyone is out to judge us and criticise us that we're actually not even giving them a chance, we're beating them to the punch, if we're allowing them the opportunity at all. In all those years of changing at home, that's exactly what I've been doing, not giving them the chance and bad mouthing myself to the point where I don't feel confident in any way shape or form.
But not anymore.
Nope, now I'm going to become the muscliest, smoothest, nudist in town. And I invite you to join me on my adventure.
Weird blog guys, I know that, but I kind of had to share this with you. I wanted to let you know that if you're feeling squeemy and awkward about gym changing rooms that you need to put that fear to bed, it's unwarranted, it really is. They are not as scary as you first thought and really, if I can confidently bend over with my arse in the air to rub moisturiser into my toes without a worry in the world, then I think you can definitely give the knicker trick a go!
Good luck! xxxxx