ALL THE THINGS THAT GO THROUGH MY HEAD WHEN YOU STARE AT ME

- Oh God, do I know you? Am I being really rude?
- Yes I do, that's Alice's mum, I should go and say hello.
- Abort, ABORT, not Alice's mum.
- Well then why is she staring at me?
- Do I have something in my teeth??
- Has my makeup smudged?
- I bet my flies are undone.
- I should NOT have worn this top, I'm sure it's see through. And WHY does it cling like that?
- Does my hair just HATE me? She's looking at my stupid frizzy hair.
- I need to call the hairdressers and book an appointment.
- Shit maybe that was Alice's mum, should I go and check?
- Why aren't I wearing my glasses?
- Oh brilliant. What's he looking at?
- I'm going to have to pretend I haven't noticed him. Don't make eye contact Em, just keep looking at the floor.
- Is he still looking? DON'T check yet.
- WHY DID YOU CHECK? Now it's just awkward.
- Why is he staring? Is it because I look good, or has something gone wrong?
- God I KNEW I shouldn't have worn this top today. 
- Why do I feel so uncomfortable? it's the middle of the day, he's hardly going to follow me home.
- Actually, I'm allowed to feel uncomfortable. This is weird. What right does he have to stare at me?
- Should I just stare back? Make this awkward?
- No. Don't engage.
- HOW is he still looking?
- Do you think he stares at all women like this? How does he get anything done?
- What would his mum say?
- Note to self: don't walk home this way at night just in case he is still here.
- WHY HAS EVERYONE AT THE BUS STOP JUST LOOKED UP?
- My music is definitely coming through my headphones right? I'm not listening to Britney on speaker am I?
- No. It's got to be this top then.
- I'll go home and change.
- No then I'll have to go back past that man.
- And I haven't got the time.
- Why is she still staring at me? I'll try smiling at her?
- Nope. That made it weird, back away.
- Look at the floor.
- WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME? WHY AREN'T THEY STARING AT EACH OTHER???
- Did the bus driver just look at my boobs.
- Fuck I hate when men do that.
- Well that's just made me incredibly uncomfortable. 
- Stop looking at me.
- I can't wait to get home.
- I am literally never going to wear this top again.
- I am going to burn it. 
- And my hair. I'll burn that too.
- I hate my hair.
- Maybe I've got sweat patches, maybe that's what they were looking at? 
- Nope.
- Well what then?
- This is too much. I never want to leave the house again.

Now considering I can see the bus stop from my house, this is quite a lot to deal with on a daily basis. Please people, learn from this. Stop staring, and if you have to do it, SMILE. SAY SOMETHING. Save us all the internal monologues. Thank you.