WHY IT'S OKAY TO NEED A MAN

It is one of the biggest misconceptions out there; that if you are a strong, independent woman, that not only do you not need a man, you shouldn't even want one. 

For certain women in positions of power, 'having' a man is proving to be a sign of weakness and for a 'die-hard feminist' to have one? Well that just seems down-right hypocritical.

Of course, in recent years the definition of feminist seems to have spiralled from what it was intended to mean. A combination of old-fashioned wankers with tiny knobs and totally terrifying women have given 'feminists' an air of authority about them that makes them totally un-relatable.


Even I, as what I would call a 'feminist' (someone that believes that there should be absolute equality of the sexes) feel unwelcome in certain circles. I feel that, because I'm not necessarily singing from the same hymn sheet, in that I'm a big supporter of Page 3 for example, I'm not actually very welcome as a feminist. In fact, I heard a girl the other day talking about how she was ashamed to be a feminist these days because, and I quote, 'too many white middle class women' are identifying as one and that made me feel very awkward indeed.

Since finding out that there was a strict quota to fill I've been scared to shout my beliefs from the roof tops, for fear that the militant feminists will find me and name me as a fraud, and one of my biggest reasonings for this is the fact that I can hand on heart admit that I need my man.

I don't need just any old one it's true, the one in question is six foot, Irish and makes me feel like a wonderful human being. 

Yet by admitting this, as a woman, it slightly feels like I'm failing. Like I'm betraying my foremothers and letting the side down. I feel like, by being in a relationship in which I am totally dependent on somebody else and their love for me, I am somehow getting it wrong.

I remember once saying to my mum that I 'needed' Alex, to which she very quickly replied that I needed no such thing, that I could want him, sure, but that I could never NEED him. Why? Because it made me weak? I don't know. 

This is something that I don't understand.

Because I know so many men who absolutely, completely and utterly need the women in their lives. My boyfriend for one, he needs me to be happy, he needs me, in his words, to be complete, but does that make him weak? No, not even slightly.

So why, when all I am desperate for is equality, do I feel weak and useless for admitting to needing him?

The idea of sex, love and relationships is a concept as old as time, we NEED it for human survival. For a man to admit that he 'needs' his significant other, he is labelled brave or wonderful, but for a woman to do that? Well that makes her weak doesn't it?

It certainly feels that way. It feels as if, by admitting to needing a man, you are jumping aboard the baby bus without passing go and without collecting £200. You are now destined for a life of baby vomit, house keeping and waiting patiently at home for your husband to return from work to kiss the kids goodnight, hoping that he doesn't slip one to his secretary before he leaves.

We seem to think that by admitting to needing a man, we will wake up tomorrow in 1950 with no hope of ever returning.

But what we seem to be forgetting is that, thanks to the hard work of our foremothers, this is no longer the case. I can now do what I want with my life, totally safe in the knowledge that my other half will support me 100%. It's no longer a case of us women not being able to work and relying on our men for the money. We have the money now, and we are finally at liberty to pick the men that we love, simply because, well, we love them.


This is a truly wonderful thing and something that we need to celebrateWe need to pull our heads from the clouds and look around. This isn't the olden days anymore, there is no shame in loving and needing a man, just like they love and need us.


That, to me, is equality.

You can still be strong and independent with someone by your side, you'd do well to remember that.