I'm very grateful to my beautiful friend Anna for writing this piece for the blog, and for posting me the T-Shirt used in the header of this image.
Just be you, it is so important. Don’t worry about the size of the girl next to you on the treadmill, don’t worry that the lady in the queue in Costa is gushing her love to someone on the phone and don’t worry that your friend's photo on Instagram is flawless (filters are a wonderful thing)
For years I have worried about what everyone else is doing, or thinks, but recently it dawned on me that we have to stop, that I have to stop, before we make ourselves crazy, or more crazy than we already are.
This quote is something I live by now. ‘Be your own kind of beautiful’
I have recently returned from my honeymoon and I worked myself up something silly before I went. Did I have enough new outfits? Did I have new makeup? Did I have new bikinis? Did I know the man I was going with?! Yes! Of course I did, we have been dating for 6 years and been married since October, so why did I feel the need to go overboard with new things? This wasn’t the first date, this wasn’t the first trip away, this wasn’t the first time he would see me in a bikini. I was going crazy, I needed to get a grip. It wasn’t until a good friend pointed out to me, actually, not even pointed out to me, reminded me, that this was the man I love, who loves me, for me, not for me trying to impress him every day we were away.
Don’t get me wrong, making an effort should never die out, but I have to remember that he loves me for everything, for waking up and throwing on the first thing I find to go to breakfast, he loves me when I wear no makeup, and look a sweaty mess by the pool, wearing the same outfit, shock horror, twice! (How these girls wear makeup, their hair down and all the jewellery in the world by the pool I will never know!?)
I had got into my head that because this was our honeymoon that it should be something different. But why should it? I remember sitting on the plane thinking that everyone would be on their honeymoon too and that everyone would be competing for the best relationship, the most amount of love in one room and to be the best looking couple, it panicked me.
We landed in paradise and we were shown to our glorious room and we just fell into our own little holiday routine; we unpacked, got some food and then chilled out for the rest of the day, this is me and him, this is what we do and this is why I love him. We have our own ways, we have our own routine and we have a great relationship because of it. We don’t worry what others think, as long as we are happy, then sod them.
After that moment I didn’t think back to my worries on the plane because I knew in our own little world we were ‘us’ and that was all that mattered.
We, especially the girls out there, have to stop worrying. No one is perfect. Yes, the girl on the treadmill may have nicer legs than you, but why can't you create those? Spending another 5 minutes a day on the treadmill and you will get there! But for now, I can bet you anything she is looking at your arms and thinking ‘why can't I have those arms???’
The lady in the queue in Costa is probably gushing her love to someone on the phone because she has had an argument with the person on the other end. You just don't know! Maybe she's doing it because she feels that this how she has to express her love. I am sure everyone has his or her own little ways of saying I love you, and does it matter when and how? Absolutely not, as long as you are happy then stop worrying.
And as for Instagram, people only ever put the NICE photos on there, and then they put a filter on it, and it looks amazing. I am a sucker for it, I wouldn’t put an average photo on there… no way! Yes it is a great way to share your life with your friends but don’t think that is how you have to dress everyday. I don’t wear makeup every day, I don't think that that would be healthy for me, but when I do, yes, I may Instagram a photo of myself as would half of the world!
What I am trying to say is, and this will be a New Year's resolution for me: stop worrying about everyone else, what size they are, what colour their hair is, what foundation they use. Instead try to just worry about you and I promise you, you will start to feel so much better and more settled in your life.
Now to finish, a wonderful quote from an author we have all heard of, Roald Dahl: