What's that old rhyme about the hair on my chinny chin chin? I don't remember exactly, but I know that it is the most relevant thing ever, since I, like most girls, have a single black hair that pops up from time to time on my jaw line on the right side.
The day that this was pointed out to me was one of the most mortifying days of my life, because it was a) not done in a remotely tactful way and b) properly scared me into thinking that I was becoming a man. The fateful day was about 7 years ago, maybe longer, and I was at Drayton Manor with some friends. One of them, who I will never forgive or forget, leant over the picnic table to remove what she thought was an eyelash from my face, only to then realise that it was in fact attached to me. She then proceeded in freaking out... loudly. God I hated her for that.
Up until that point i did not realise that this was even slightly common, normal even, and thought that I must be some disgusting freak, particularly since the bastard thing continued to reappear. I'd pull it out, all 3cms of it and then BAM, out of nowhere one day it would be back again.
I kept my shameful little secret for years, not telling anyone until one day I was watching an episode of Orange Is The New Black in which Piper explains that she has one and she has named it Spike. That was the BIGGEST relief to me, I WAS NORMAL. Well, I had something in common with a prisoner at least. Now I tell everyone about it and in return, people tell me about theirs, as it turns out, this hair is actually incredibly normal and not a delayed reaction to my choice to grow a beard than go bald in a childhood game of Would You Rather...
But the fact that I did know NOTHING about this very natural thing and was left to fester in my own worry for years is not, to my mind, okay, so I thought I would make a list of some of the body hair that either I, or someone I now has got, so that if you are in the pre-OITNB stage that I was, you can be reassured that you too, are perfectly normal.
Or upper lip hair, whatever you want to call it. i'm obsessed with mine and frequently go to get it waxed/threaded. Most people say I'm mad and claim not to see it, but it's my face and I'm painfully aware of it. I know LOTS of women who do this too, it doesn't make me a Poro look alike. It's just NORMAL.
A Snail Trail
Also not something saved for me, and although the female version isn't normally quite so *hrhm* prominent, they are common and from time to time the odd dark hair does appear on your tummy. #noshame
And by that I mean, hair on your feet, specifically your toes. Kinda weirded me out when I first discovered mine and I'm not entirely proud of it but whatever, it happens. The only thing I will say is that it is a total bitch to epilate but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do right?
The one that grows out of a mole
I don't actually have one of these that I know about, and I feel a little bit left out. Everyone I know seems to have one. Actually having said that, perhaps the reason I don't think I have one is because the only raised mole I have is on my back, so I can't actually see it... maybe I do have one...
Apparently this is actually REALLY common and most women find a rogue nipple hair from time to time. I also just googled it and apparently it's legit fine to tweeze them, so pluck away ladies.
And there are countless other places that I have forgotten to mention. But the next time you find a long black hair stemming from somewhere new, go to the mirror or check your pulse, as long as you are still alive then remember that this IS normal. You don't need to be quite so open with your friends as I am with mine if you don't want, but whatever you do, don't you dare be embarrassed by the most natural thing ever.