Guys. BIG NEWS JUST IN. All of your prayers have been answered, yes it’s true, it’s finally happening: THEY’VE INVENTED A CAR JUST FOR LADIES!! Rejoice, rejoiceeeeeee. Oh what a day. SEAT, together with Cosmopolitan, have announced this week that they’ve been super busy over the last two years designing a lady car.
According to SEAT, this has been done because, in case you didn’t already know, a car is every woman’s KEY accessory. (10/10 for the pun. Shambles everywhere else). Uh huh. Thankfully, SEAT and Cosmo have worked out that the plight of women everywhere is that we are lacking freedom, and have oh so kindly bought us our VERY OWN tickets (and hopefully a man to look after them for us, am I right ladies?!) “to freedom in the city at work or play.” (Pfft. They think we’re working… fools).
They’ve been busy, they say, for the last year, designing a car that women “want to own”, since, as we ALL know, and they reminded us on their website: ‘girls just want to have fun.’
I don’t know about you guys, but here’s hoping for an extra big mirror in the sun visor to apply our lipstick in, a very delicate steering wheel for our precious lady hands and of course a big emergency packet of tissues stashed into the ceiling in case we stumble upon some baby ducklings on our route. OH NO WAIT. Hang on. That’s not my wish! Can I change it? Lol at me, silly indecisive woman! I hope it comes with a big strong capable man who I can store in the boot, alongside all my shopping bags, who can help me when I need to plot my route, work the air conditioning and of course help me manage that oh so troublesome parallel park!!
And by the sounds of it, I won’t be disappointed! Cosmo have said that their research found that most women, when describing what they use their cars for most, said “impromptu karaoke performances, last minute wardrobe changes, dramatic gossip sessions and emergency lunch hour kips.” (SERIOUSLY?! – You do have to wonder how this question was put to all of these silly women!)
With that in mind, Cosmo have told us in a not even slightly patronising way, that this car is ‘personal’ and ‘special’, funnily enough, not words that I’ve ever heard used to describe any of the hundreds and thousands of ‘man’ cars on the market. Smeh. Unlucky. Queue the ‘my car’s special and yours isn’ttttt’ chant. Paha. My brother is going to feel so dumb.
But girls, here’s the clincher, tell me: what lady colour would you like your car to come in? We’ve got purple, of course, but we also have candy white (which funnily enough is always the colour I imagined my unicorn to be!). NO PINK?! I hear you cry! No, I’m sorry girls, but hopefully the ‘pretty chic accessories’ will make up for it.
Well, I for one am BUZZING. I can’t believe I’ve been driving a man car around for all these years, ewwwww. I feel so STUPID! At least now I can rest my tiny little brain about it and stop worrying. I’ll give my boyfriend the key to my car when he gets home, who is, let’s face it, MUCH better equipped to understand all of those buttons, and has much stronger arms to steer it with! Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go shopping to find the shoes and bag to match…